Joe:
Andy
Chris:
Pat:
Zyra:
Writer:
(Four guys are sitting around a table. Joe points to a drawing cut into the table)
Joe: Well what do you know, a sequel. Why did whoever it was write a sequel?
Andy: Ooooo. Looks who's talking about sequels.
Pat: It's Joe.
Andy: I know.
Chris: What comes after the Letter X?
Joe: Y.
Chris: Cause I want to know.
Pat: It's already starting to be bad. I'm out a here.(Pat trips gets back in the chair) I tripped over a cordless phone.
Joe: Didn’t we use that gag in the last script?
Zyra: (is sitting in a fifth chair) I'd like to stay but I got a part time job painting skittles."
Chris: Aaaaa Zyra.
Joe: He's gone already.
Andy: Not even a Fade in or Fade out.
Chris: So how we gonna make this better?
Pat: I don't have a solution; but I do admire the problem.
Joe: Are you going to make this better by just saying your little smart remarks?
Andy: What would happen if the scenery just changed?
Joe: I’m having Deja Moo: The feeling I’ve heard this bull before.
Chris: Come on that line was used in the last one. I said it. Come on can’t we have fresh material?
Joe: I’m having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.
Andy:: Can’t you think of original things to say as opposed to taking away Steven’s wrights.
King Steve: It’s king Steve you fools.
Joe: Didn’t you steal something from the last script.
Andy: Yes but with new results
Chris: What are we doing on this bathroom.
(Their all Standing in a bathroom)
Joe: This is stupid. I need to get to bed. My favorite dream starts at 9.
Andy: If it’s stupid but works, it’s not stupid.
Wise Old Man: Always take time to stop and smell the roses... and sooner or later, you’ll inhale a bee.
Chris: What does that mean to me?
Wise Old Man: Did you know that the Honey Badger can withstand hundreds of African bee stings that would kill any other animal?
Joe: It doesn’t work.
Chris: This is worse then the first installment.
Andy: It’s supposed to bee, it’s a sequel.
Joe: We’ve resulted to bathroom humor.
Pat: If truth is stranger than fiction, this story must be truth.
Andy: Truth is reality. Reality is the leading cause of stress among those in touch with it.
Wise Old Man: The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.
Pat: This Wise Old man knows so little and knows it so fluently.
Wom: (getting up) Hey Punk! You wanna go? You little snot nose faced Punk.
Pat: Look Wise Old Man....I
Wom: Not you dingbat. Man your as sharp as a marble. I was talking to the little snot-faced Punk:
Punk: ( Little kid with snot on his nose) Hello everyone. Anyone have a tissue.
Wom: Lets go and get some now ok.
Andy: I must admit fellows, this script has brought religion in my life. I never knew there was a hell till I read this script.
Pat: Your in it. You didn’t read it.
Andy: I read It last night. A really good Steven King book
King Steve: It’s King Steve to you, you fools.
Chris: Where did he come from and where are we now?
Joe: Back to the original setting. What’s with all the new characters?
Andy: We only had the four of us in the beginning.
Joe: 3 more have joined the cast. We don’t have the others listed as characters in the beginning..
Pat: Oh my gosh look....
Chris: It’s you,,, lying on the floor dead ( Pat is on the floor with a knife in his back.)
Pat: Man why did they have to kill me off. (Pat says this while looking at himself).
Andy: What killed Pat?
Chris: If you sneeze too hard you can fracture a rib. Maybe that’s what did it.
Joe: Nearly a third of all bottled drinking water purchased in the US is contaminated with bacteria. May the bacteria killed em. Why when I get my hands on them bacteria.
Pat: You fools. What killed Pat, why a knife in my back.
Andy: Why you still here if your dead?
Pat: Good point. Sharp point. Owww.
Joe: I guess he won’t be around for the sequel.
Chris: This is the sequel.
Joe: All good stories have a trilogy.
Chris: WDYMBT?
Joe: NTIMM!
Andy: WWTIA?
.
Chris: PWBC.
Joe: This gives you the viewer or reader a chance to use your brain.
King Steve: It’s King Steve you fools.
Chris: All the world’s a stage and I think he missed rehearsal.
Andy: Would you think of other people. Have you walked in his shoes.
Chris: Your right. Before you criticize somone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way you’re a mile away, and you have their shoes too.
Joe: Your like him. Your both mad.
Chris: The only difference between me and a mad man, is that I’m not mad.
Andy: You know your a few clowns short of a circus.
Chris: Clowns are hard to get these days. You know I’m glad that I’m not as judgmental as all you censorious, self-righteous people.
Joe: What’s the probability that something good will happen in the script according to the odds?
Andy: YOU LIKE!!!
Chris: What?
Joe: A little nonsense.
Wom: A little nonsense now and then is cherished by the wisest man.
Zyra: That’s why this script is over.
Andy, Joe, Chris: (singing) Just when I was getting used to yesterday along came today. But today ended and it’s tomorrow that will bring you to a better place.
Writer: As the author of such an elaborate piece of nothing, I just wanted to add a little something. A something to make this nothing into something. But I’ve given you that speech before, but not this...... but others have...
Costou, Dougles Adams Dave Barry- Lazerus Long - Robert Southey W. Churchhill -Alfred Hichcock. & Groucho Marx. Maybe you can notice their quotes. I needed a place to stick this, so why not here.
Pat: I can think of some reasons.
Andy: The reasons being this script has no meaning. No inspiring words about life, or meaning, or God.
Writer: I wrote you off, so your opinion does not count And you all shut up.. But you have a point and owe.... It hurts. Ok then........
Wom: God is at his best when man is at his worst.
Chris: And that is true here.
Joe: It’s still bad though.....
Writer: You haven’t read this yet thou. And you know the happiness of the bee and the dolphin is to exist. For man it tis to know that and to wonder at it. We think were smarter then the dolphins because we build cars and buildings and start wars etc.. and all that dolphins do is swim in the water , eat fish and play around. Dolphins believe that they are smarter for exactly the same reasons. I think it would be cool to hang out with them today, but seeing their out in the ocean some where I 'll have to settle for land animals. I happen to like pigs. I have a farmer friend who named his pig ink, because he kept running out of the pen.
Yes I do like Cats and dogs but I really like pigs. Dogs look up to us.,( Sure their mans best friend and outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend but Inside of a dog it's too dark to read)- That's because they're helpless without us. "Dogs would make totally incompetent criminals. If you could somehow get a group of dogs to understand the concept of the Kennedy assassination, they would all immediately confess to it. Whereas you'll never see a cat display any kind of guilty behavior, despite the fact that several cats were seen in Dallas on the grassy knoll area, not that I wish to start rumors. Cats unlike dogs look down on us. When a man feeds his Dog, his dog thinks, "He must be a god." When A man feeds his cat, his Cat things, " I must be a god." Actually Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this. It starts when they are young. A kitten thinks they are the rosebud in the garden of the animal kingdom But pigs treat us as equals.
Pigs can inspire humans. I understand the inventor of the bagpipes was inspired when he saw a man carrying an indignant, asthmatic pig under his arm. Unfortunately, the man made sound never equaled the purity of the sound achieved by the pig. In spite of this info, Never try and teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig. Then again Never wrestle with a pig. You both get dirty and the pig likes it- Instead do nice things for pigs. Ben and Jerry's send the waste from making ice cream to local pig farmers to use as feed. Pigs love the stuff, except for one flavor: Mint Oreo.
Zyra: God does not promise a comfortable journey, only a safe landing.
Punk: This story has landed.
Joe: Safely. It wasn’t bad. Maybe because it’s a composite of other’s sayings. Any last things?
Writer: How about a preview of the next installment.
Chris: Aaa come on. This script is too long, even thou it’s shorter then the last one.
Writer: Actually their about the same. This might be longer due to the little essay.
Andy: How about one last thought. Something to leave the audience with. Something to think about.
Pat: Birthdays are good for you-the more you have the longer you live. Why was I killed off by the way?
THE END
King Steve: It’s King Steve you fools
No comments:
Post a Comment