UA MR CAS Chapter 8

Chapter 8 Unmasking the Mysterious Unknown Assailant
Untitled Action/Adventure/Mystery/Comedy/Romantic/ Story:
As MUA sat on the couch, Manuel began to think about other cases that he was working on also. One was a lost cause of a case He was trying to track down the where abouts of a person who lived at Bean Jr-. College, named after Spenser Bean Jr. . His name is Larry Legend. Larry is supposed to be a Wild Man. He has live bands in his room every night and always has an open Keg. He has been at the college 7 Semester-s (This is a Two Year- School) with a G.P.A. of 1.2. It's been said that Larry is too friendly with the girls on campus and has keys to every one of their rooms. He has been known to sneak into the college radio station and play Marylon Hanson records. Marylon Hanson was a death meatal teeny boober band that was not part of the station play list. It has been said that Larry pays off Dean Shmight and the Bean College Police. The man is out of control. Manuel hopes to get enough info on Larry, so the school board will kick Larry out of Bean.
Anyway, getting back to the story.
Relaxing from his long day, Manuel sat back into his chair-watching a video tape of the 10:00 News from one week ago, waiting for- the Mysterious Unknown Assailant to wake up. Manual liked to keep up to date of what is happening in the world. He never liked to miss a newscast. Some of the major things happening in the world one week ago was that FunnyMan had made yet another dent in the crime Group known as the TKO. Professor Tony Anthony at Bean Jr. College hit a profane Gas Truck blowing up half the City block. Manuel started thinking about the last time that he had a date. It had been 2 weeks ago, and that date hade been a piece of fruit. The way that he usually got dates was to sit around in Chinese restaurants opening fortune cookies until one said that he would meet somebody that day. He never- figured that today would be the Mysterious Unknown Assailant. His last date with a girl was so bad; he had spent 3 hour talking about salad to a girl who worked at Tamale World. Every time he had a bad date, he talked to his friend Standly. Standly was a very neurotic paranoid individual who seemed to always have a rotten, terrible, very bad day. He seemed to always have a story involving a bad experience that involved a girl.
“ Last time I wanted to have a salad, I went to the salad buffet bar at Food World, and was putting some tomatoes on my spinish leafs, when I spotted a cute girl. I dropped the tomato on the floor and a big guy with muscles came by and slipped on the tomatoes and hit his head on the bar denting it. The manager came by all upset because he knew that the big guy would probably want to hit me and he would have to intervene, and he I knew that this particular manager didn’t like confrontation. He screamed at the guy to calm down while he was still rubbing his head in silence. The big guy picked me up and throw me at the guy, “saying shut up.” One customer, who saw this laughed so hard, he started chocking on the candy bar he was chewing on. The cute girl gave him that chocking maneuver and they actually ended up going on a date. The big guy got shoved by a bagger and the two started a food fight in which 14 people got involved in. I got a dry cleaning bill from the Food World manager, who’s shirt got stained by some tabole. This cute girl got knocked into me and as she was falling into my arms I got clocked by a banana.... Okay you get the point.
. " 1 suppose I should be in mourning for the Sheriff. At least Old Man Silva won’t get away with speeding anymore‘. I guess there's know use for the sheriff now anyway, seeing Silva‘s car got trashed.” At this point the Unknown, that is The (sing along now) The Mysterious Unknown Assailant started to stir-. "A-HA. I’ll take you on and ask some ?'s. The Mysterious Unknown Assailant spoke... "Who am I? Where am I? After- 20 Min. of conversation it was apparent that the mysterious unknown Assailant had total amnesia. He or She did not even know what sex they were. Manuel felt somewhat upset that he could not get any answers from his prime suspect. " I could use a good episode of the old TV show Photon right now, if only there was one. None of you reading this know what that is do you?"

In Australia. Daisy Junkin started to run from a gang of Kangaroos with M-16s. What Next??? Next Time!!!!!