UA MR CAS Chapter 15

It was another shining day at the Sunnyside Insurance Company. Located on Pleasant street right between the Tie-Di Shirt place, which was painted in tie-di colors, and Peter's Pet Store, which was painted green with faces of animals all over it, in the town of Biggsville, where this story is taking place. The two story brick building was the nicest one on the block. It seemed to have more sparkle with the golden sunshine paint than any of the other neighboring constructions. The insurance building stuck out like a wart on a model because all of the surrounding buildings wore one story.
The inside of the insurance building looked just as nice as the outside. It had a nice freshly cleaned blood red carpet, some brown little wooden desks with legs that looked so skinny it was a wonder that they were holding up the desk, and a couple of secretaries. Their hair were tied up in buns, as they were crouched over in there
Chairs putting on their lipstick like they were painting a work of art. They all sat quietly, waiting patiently for something to do.
Then there was the guy behind the main desk. Arnold L. Seed. Arnold was the all time super employee, having worked there fifteen years. It was for that very reason that he always got stuck behind the main desk. He was about five feet, five inches tall, white curly hair, brown eyes, white face, little white mustache, and a real nice set of silver toned glasses. He had on plaid paints with a nice blue t-shirt, with an n even nicer blue tie. He was in the middle of a great game of solitaire. “Aaww Windows 3.1 The best $89 solitaire game you can buy.”
DING DONG
"OH CRAP!" Somebody actually decided to come in, ruined my game of solitaire". The young fellow that walked in the door was sort of skinny, had short dark hair, a white dress shirt, some dark blue dungarees and a pair of white Zipps sneakers. Arnold tried to smile and said rather cheerfully. "Welcome, to the Sunnyside Insurance Company."
"I'm here to buy some Health In.."
"surance! Yeah!" What do you want health insurance for?"
"I figured that it's nice to have it, say I get sick or something."
"What's your name?
"Jonny Jelly."
"Do you live next to peanut butter? HA HA! Oh I'm sorry!"
"That's o.k. ameba, because in about 15 minutes I'll be gone from this office and I won't have to come back again!"
"OH CRAP, another wise butt", Arnold thought to himself as he turned a little red, and felt a little embarrassed as he went to his drawer to pull out a form to give to the rotten jelly. "Oh CRAP where
are those forms?" After searching for a minute or two through an endless supply of papers, Arnold pulled out a form and gave it to Jelly along with a blue Wright Brothers Pen.
"You now what time it is?"
"Yeah", it's time for you to get a new watch"!
"Gee what friendly service", Jelly thought to himself as he made a sarcastic smirk on his face. "I was kind of hoping to get home in time to watch Scobby Doo." At the sound of this the insurance guy looked at Jelly and started to laugh his eyes out. He was laughing so hard, if he had been drinking milk it would have come out his nose.
"WHAATT??" Jelly questioned with a grin of puzzlement on his face.
"Sorry, but I, I, PPPPPP. I think, that you look like SHAGGY."
His laughter began to slow down. He looked like a dog coming in out of heat.
"I think I'll punch the next person who says that," Jelly remarked to himself. "Do you watch that show?"
"NO, I can't stand that crap, my dog died and it depresses the hell out of me. " At his Jelly started to laugh. Arnold didn't seem to care, he just leaned on the desk with an expressionless face, gazing off into another dimension. He stopped after a while when he thought about the look on his face.
"He didn't smile! He wasn't kidding", Jelly told himself, In his mind Jelly kicked himself and made a grin that said OPPOSE!
"My dog dies and this jerk starts laughing at it," Arnold implied in his head.
Critic Jack: Okay I know I was chewed out earlier for this, but just what the heck does this have to do with the rest of the story.
Anti-Critic Jack: Maybe if you wait to the end, you’ll find out.
Critic Jack: Well I guess.
The conversation continued as the rest of the office sat empty like a college campus on a three day weekend, as two of the secretaries, with similar names, watched in wonderment. The slender tall secretary
Known as Bunny, sipped her coffee as she listened with intensity at the big breasted, smooth skinned secretary named Bonney expressed her hearty two cent opinion of the on-going conversation.
"It's like listing to two little kid's arguing".
"Are you kidding, Bunhy replied?!
What a copy cat" the secretaries heard Jelly cry. Arnold responded with,
" I had the fantasy of running naked through a field long before you did."
"Even little kids don't have the low intelligence to talk about such stupid stuff. I get paid to work here, not listen to this garbage," Bunny complained.
"Look bud, I really can't be social now, I got to look like I'm Working. It's been 13 minutes and your not even half way done." Arnold insisted.
"All right! Calm down! Nobody is going to hurt you. "
"Excuse me, while I run to the bathroom!" Arnold picked himself up and headed to the brown door that said `BATHROOM' on it that was located directly next to the secretaries.
"Good now this guy can finish up and get the heck outa here." Bunny remarked.
Five minutes the office sat in silence. The secretaries continued Jabbing away. No new costumers had yet arrived. Arnold strolled out of the office with his hand on the very huge hole that was in his paints.
ZIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!
He causally walked back to his desk to finish up his business with Jelly. He started to pray that this guy would leave and never come back.
"Well I got to go my parking meter is almost run out, here is my form all filled out, I'll be in contact with!" Arnold's face gave a sigh of delight as Jelly picked himself up and strolled toward the door. Arnold stayed quiet as if someone was pointing as gun towards his head.
"Yeah, Bye", Arnold said as if he was trying to push him out the door with his words.
`DING DONG' went the cling of the doorbell as Jelly left the office.
Everyone in the office sighed. The stupid conversation was over. Arnold was so happy he got up and did a little jig. He started to sing shouts of praise to God. His prayers were answered.
DING DONG
Arnold looked over and froze solid as ice on a pond, as his mouth dropped down to his shoes.
I just have one more thing to ask you", Jelly said with a look of concern! A thought flashed into Arnold's head like a fire,
"God, what did I do wrong?"
"He's going to be here awhile," Bonnie insisted!
"Well, at least I'll have something to write home about", Bunny replied.
Critic Jack: Is That?
Anti-Critic Jack: Yeah
Critic Jack: So what does this have to do with the rest of the story, the 6 creatures, the MUA, the Russian Drug Dealer?
Anti-Critic Jack: I’m sure it has something to do with it, although it hasn’t been revealed.
Critic Jack: This is just some stupid short story thrown in here for no apparent reason. It has no connection to the rest of the story or to anything else in real life.
Anti-Critic Jack: I think it is based on real life conversations and it ties in to the story somehow.
Critic Jack: How? If you ask me...
Anti-Critic Jack: I didn’t.
Critic Jack: The writer knew that no one would ever read this piece of sophisticated garbage, because it is written well, so he stuck it in here so that it would be read.
pause
Critic Jack: I don’t hear you arguing
Anti-Critic Jack: Maybe it can possible tie in somehow.
Critic Jack: That’s like saying another Air Bud movie would be a box office Phenomenon and would win 5 Golden Globe award.
Anti-Critic Jack: Isn’t this conversation becoming like what your accusing the story of being.
Critic Jack: Stupid, Idiotatic, Moronic,....
Anti-Critic Jack: Boring and Dull, and long and drawn out.
Critic Jack: Oh. Good Point. Lets Shut up Now. Maybe something better will be next.
Anti-Critic Jack: Yeah