UA MR CAS Chapter 4

Chapter 4 Untitled Action/Adventure/Mystery/Comedy/Romantic/ Story
“AAAAAAAAAAAAA”, I picked back up the phone.
“What’s wrong?”, Sarah asked?
“Only a noise I can hear is being broadcast into my brain. It could drive me crazy if I don’t act fast. You see it’s too dangerous for you to come al....”
OH SHUT UP!” I don’t give a care, your making that up so I can‘t go. Sarah at one time or the other always used the word care in a sentence. “What the Care do you Care if I come or not? You don’t care. Like your gonna caring end up kissing her if you save her caring life”! Ohhhhhhhh. She hung up the phone. I wasn’t completely lying about the death splitting noise that only I could hear. Some all guy group that pretends to be three separate groups was singing a hip-hop country song on the radio. Ohhhhhhh. I’d like to drink my Jolt and play Star Control on my computer. But he’s out there right now and I’ve got to go to work
FunnyMan
My theme music started to play as I got into my outfit and got ready to go and fight crime. I’m about to write The Charm Machine a reality check, or maybe I‘ll give him the cold hard cash of truth. The Tick has really given me some good material. I realized that Kristin was in the hands of my archenemy Jason “The Charm Machine”. Jason could charm any girl in the universe and then he would leave them, break their hear and dance on it. He usually stole their money while he was at it. He brought her to Camp Mecca for a nice romantic night of great romance and kissing and when the evening ended, “By Bye Kris.” Ohhh. No women was safe from his hypnotic charm. If only people could resist that temptation for slick romance. Ok, I said I hope to get romantic later, but it’s different in my case, before you start to judge me, it‘s a hero‘s job to kiss the girl. I’d be going against tradition if I didn’t.
Anyway I would prevent any of this from happening. This camp was practically right next to my house so I didn’t even need my FunnyMobile. I headed out the secret Funnyman underground Garage door. To get to this camp I had to go along the side of Pattlewoddle pond.
The path I needed to take ran through 3 people’s yards. The people who lived in these houses were all crabs and got upset any time anyone stepped on their pond front property. This one guy named Mutulup, more than the other property owners, really gave a hard time to anyone who walked up his little hill by the Pond. He went into long tangents about how he was going to build a fence, which he never did.
Something very unexpected happen while I was crossing by the third house. WHAM! Somebody had just slammed me hard up against the wall next to the third owner’s set of stairs leading up to his house. The voice of the person who slammed me cried out.
“Up the Wall! Well Funnyman. I’ve finally got you! It didn’t take me very long did it”? It was the principal of the Biggsvile middle school. Someone always seemed to attack me when I was going somewhere in a hurry. He was very upset at me because I had helped the kids at his school revolt against his no wearing shorts policy. Kids came to me telling me how terrible they were sweating, and how hot it was and I just had to help. I had seen to it that this rule had been abolished. Some boys at his school had revolted by wearing skirts to school. This made the principal angry. He then suspended every boy who had a skirt. I had tricked the principal into letting the boys come back to the school and having the no shorts rule revoked. I won’t get into the exact details of how I did it because that’s an another story. I ended up making him look like a complete jackass, with a capital J. I also told him the secret ending to “The Sixth Sense”, and “Battlefield Earth” before he saw the pictures. Anyway why did he have to pick now to get revenge. This guy got irked real easily and really harbored a grudge.
The principal had an ugly expression on his face as his right hand clenched around his billy club. It began to rise in the air. At this moment I put my hand on his kelynongs (I‘m sure you know what they are) and they got one nice shock from my hand buzzer. I would have kicked him there, but that joke has gotten quite redundant. He was fast enough though to knock by hand away before he was knocked out. We began to wrestle, when we both heard a thump! It was coming from the top of the stairs of the house we were in front of.
Hey pals... why don‘t you go use the public beach“. We were in Our Pals Property. Every time someone came in his yard he always came out, all 500 hundred pounds. and said “Go use the public Beach“. He had a few brothers, all fat, all a fixation with the public beach. They prided them selves on being able to stand in front of sunbathers and block their sun with their extremely fat bodies.
“Kiss my Frog” At this Our Pal tried running down the stairs, did what in his case was a jump and landed on the principal. I managed to get away before I got squashed. I heard him say as I faded from sight,
“I said Go use the Public Beach.” I crept along the beach of the camp. I made my way to where I knew Jason would be. It was a medium green colored three-story house. It was on a hill. I looked up at the top center window seeding a light go out.
I crept to the front door using my secret Funny skeleton key to open the door. I got to the top floor where the window was and heard in the room a female voice muttering.
“Oh Jason, You‘re just soooo, sweet”. It was enough to make a person sick. How could she? She was my.. How dare he abduct the innocent. I busted into the room having my supersquart flower ready. I found no one in the room. It was just a room filled with toys and a talking toy box. Saying “Oh Jason” POP. My head suddenly turned into a giant lollypop with the word Sucker written on it. Somebody slipped some stupid pills into my wheaties that morning. I felt dumber than a box of hair. I think the cheese has slipped off my cracker. I realized that I had been taken for a ride on the idiot train and that I was riding in the caboose. . I took out my bomb detector to make sure that whoever had tricked me into coming here didn’t blow me up too. There was no bomb according to my bomb detector, unless it was broken. I went over and pulled off the top of the talking toy box and as soon as I did. POW! Knocked out into the next chapter.